You know that "how could Monday Night Football change the winners and losers this week" game I mentioned last week? I played with myself again on Monday.

After Sunday, the SteelWarriors were down by ten against Trump United with four players on the Superbowl champion Steelers yet to play on Monday night, including Big Ben Roethlisberger, fresh off a hysterectomy, and Pro Bowler Hines Ward.

Trump had only Fred Taylor left to defend his 10 point lead. But Jacksonville did last year what only five teams did in 2005: beat the Steelers.

And so it was on Monday. Jacksonville shut out Pittsburgh, both on the field and on CJ's fantasy team. Roethlisberger, Ward, Nate Washington, and Heath Miller combined for 0 points, out of a Yahoo projected 21.

In the lowest scoring Monday Night Football game in history, and Cowher's only Monday Night shutout, Fred Taylor had over 120 yards in total offense, stretching John's lead to 15 and his record to a magnate like 2-0.

Thankfully for the rest of the league, CJ predicted a win for our enjoyment. In a week in which the Taylor clan posted two wins and went four for four in not weak scoring, CJ's post provides a much needed egg facial.

Dolphins, Redskins, Thunderfleas: Terrible

Let's face it. The Opus is about losers (namely, us). Seriously, though, who wants to read about Doug being at the top of the league? I mean, other than Doug and his Mom? Who wants to read that when the same story could be couched as "Smug Harvard Guy Dealt Comeuppance"?

The success of Trump United is only interesting as long as John is perceived to be a loser making good, as long as we believe him to be teasing us to a huge build up, finally delivering a blissful eruption of schadenfreude* as he loses three straight with scores under 40 points.

And the lead story is almost mandated to be about a Taylor. Hell, in some years, The Opus only stays in print until Sandy's first win.

Like the end-over-end, hoisin and sriracha laden chopstick described in one of the very first Opi in 2001, this season is bound to stain me, stain me with the mark of the Sacking Spacemen, JaJets JaRule, and The Jean Yuss.

Rich slept through the live draft this year, and The Hombres outscored the 'Fleas by 14 points this week, erasing more than half the deficit between the 'Fleas and rock effing bottom. CJ is only slightly ahead, but that is due mostly to the lowest scoring game in the history of Monday Night Football and the lowest Steeler's rushing total in Cowher's 15 year tenure as head coach.

My top three draft choices have combined for 31 points total. Curt's top three, including Tom Brady, have earned over twice that.

Here's what ESPN.com's Len Pasquerelli had to say about 0-2 teams this week:

"For the winless teams that can't pull out of the nose dive this week, the state of shock could soon deteriorate into a state of disaster, given the historical ramifications of falling to 0-3. Since 1990, only three of the 79 franchises that started a season 0-3 rebounded to get into the playoffs."

The Opus contacted Thunderfleas owner, Daniel Wakabayashi, to ask whether he considers this week's matchup against the SteelWarriors a "must win" game. Here's what Wakabayashi had to say about the current state of his team:

"We're an organization going through a rough patch. That's all. There's still a lot of fantasy football ahead of us. Right now , we're focused on our next matchup. We're not in a position to be looking down the road past the SteelWarriors. We feel good about our move at tight end. It's unfortunate that Michael [Gaines] didn't fit into our system better. We wish him the best of luck, but we feel this was the best move for us until Jerramy [Stevens] is healthy enough to go. Chris [Baker] is a motivated kid. He's been looking real good in practice this week.

We've also started contract negotiations with Al Saunders. We think he can help out our offense, help us put up more points.

Right now we're taking it one game at a time, just trying to crack that goose egg; show ourselves we can do it. We know we can. "

* "Schadenfreude" is an Italian word meaning "clown."

Avant Garde

Dada management found its way into the DFL this week. The proponents of Dada management describe it as "anti-management," a reaction to the bourgeois interest in healthy, high scoring players and full teams that typifies most DFL managers. The leader of the movement, Dan Winter, is the owner of controversially named 2006 expansion franchise The Foreskins. The Opus caught up with Winter in a Soho loft where he was sharing a cocktail of blood, semen, and mother's milk with photographer Andres Serrano.

"Where is it written," said Winter, taking a long drag from a French inhaler and blowing the smoke straight up in the air, "that one must use all the starting positions? Show me the law that says I can't start an older quarterperson, a golden dragon from a previous age?"

Winter drew slackjawed crowds this past weekend by starting Brett Favre the week after he threw no touchdowns and two interceptions and posted a negative score and by not using his second running back slot or his wide receiver/running back slot. Since these slots had been filled the week before, the deliberateness of Winter's gesture was not lost on the gawkers.

"By superimposing Favre on a team with open positions, I am representing the decay of true fandom in the fantasy era. I'm showing the world that they have traded the high ideal of loyalty to become slaves to the ten minute ticker."

Winter's lineup beat the traditionally managed HR Puffnstuff, making Dan one of four managers at 2-0.

When asked to comment on the bizarre management style of Winter, Puffnstuff manager Mike Isaacs said, "I prefer the work of Max Ernst."

Winter remains mum on what the league may see from The Foreskins in the future, but a leak from his studio reports that he is in the planning stages of a work provisionally titled "Brun-christ."

The Long Struggle: Week 2

The average score this week was almost 54 points. Still not great, but not terrible.

Last week's three shutouts marked the first week in the NFL in 15 years with three shutouts, so that was an anomaly. Monday night was the lowest scoring game in the history of Monday Night Football. With a number of Steelers and Jags playing in the DFL, that anomaly affected scores as well.

There is lots of platooning around the league, but some teams have stated that they want one guy to prove himself as the primary ball carrier. Maybe some early season platoons will resolve themselves into more familiar, higher scoring fantasy situations.

The Opus will keep tracking this story as long as it remains interesting, plus two weeks, so this may be the last you hear about it.

Trader Thwarted; Commissioner's Power Grows

League commissioner Sandy Taylor in 2004, just after a DFL owners vote of 'No Confidence'

This week saw the first use of the commisioner veto in DFL history.

A proposed trade between Hairy Centipedes owner Curt "Trader" Wu and Robbie Taylor, owner of the 2006 expansion franchise Scottish Claymores was vetoed by commisioner Sandy Taylor, Robbie's cousin. The move was seen by some as an abuse of power and blatant nepotism. The move was seen by others, or perhaps by the same people, as a long overdue slap on the wrist to the league's most notorious trade negotiator.

For years, Trader has tried to take advantage of his fellow owners by such trade offers as the 2004 Jerome Bettis for Marshall Faulk offer and the 2005 paper clip and postage stamp for Peyton Manning and Tiki Barber offer.

Most owners know better than to trade with Curt, thanks in part to the honest and impartial reporting of The Opus

Sometimes, Curt succeeds in duping a fellow owner, as in 2004, when green owner John Mruz traded Brian Westbrook away for a slightly injured Fred Taylor. What voodoo did Curt have up his sleeve to grease that deal? He threw in quarterback Jeff Garcia.

The next week, Jeff Garcia posted a passer rating of 0.0. The week after, Mruz dumped Garcia, and Garcia remained a free agent for the remainder of the season.

Inexperienced owner John Mruz reacts to starting Jeff Garcia, acquired in a trade with Curt Wu

Many blame that trade for Mruz's struggle with mental illness later in the season. Mruz made the front page across the DFL for kidnapping Ricky Williams in a cross-country spectacle and posting a ransom note in the forum. (Some conspiracy theorists believe that Ricky Williams was the author of the ransom note in an attempt to get the money needed to repay the Dolphins.)

Wu and his trading practices were linked to Mruz's troubles in the popular press (the very popular press), Wu became a pariah, and DFL owners joined in an implied trade embargo against The Hairy Centipedes.

Wu trade victim Daniel Wakabayashi (pictured with his draft advisor, Delilah Green)

Sensationalist DFL tabloid, The Opus, wrote this at the time:

"Okay, it's John's first year. He gets a free trip to Curt's Outhouse Of Tradable Players. But now he knows better, and so should all of us."

The embargo stood for the remainder of the season.

In early 2005, with distaste for Wu fading in the offseason, one hapless manager fell prey to Curt again. This time, after yet another incompetent draft, Thunderfleas owner, Daniel Wakabayashi, was desperate for a second starting running back (his first being f*cking Kevin Jones of the f*cking Detroit Lions). Wu smelled the blood and traded Wakabayashi running back Julius Jones for wide receiver Tory Holt, the highest Yards Per Game wide receiver in the NFL the preceding years.

The editorial staff at The Opus was furious with Wakabayashi and lambasted his move that week:

"Frankly, the editorial staff of the Opus is disgusted that anyone would break the implied embargo against Trader, especially when a perfectly good starting running back was still lingering in free agency. Idiot."

Holt finished 2005 with 113 fantasy points, eighth highest among wide receivers. Julius Jones finished with only 74 points, 23rd among running backs (but above Kevin Jones's 58 points, tied for 31st).

A stymied Curt Wu contemplates the stressing of syllables in 'ignominy'

In response to this week's groundbreaking veto, an angry Wu publicly fired back at Commissioner Taylor in the forums. Part of his post read, sarcastically:

"Pull out the presidential veto, Sandy! Save the Taylor clan from ignominy!"

Even the commissioner's brother, CJ Taylor, decried the heavyhanded use of power, distancing himself from the family favoritism by referring to his cousin simply as "the Scotsman":

"now that Rob has been warned that he's in the company of Wolves, I agree with Curt - let the Scotsman hang himself and learn for next season."

• Is use of the commissioner veto warranted in any case other than collusion, say, when a manager who's given up trades his best players to a manager who is still in the running for players of no value in return?
• If use of the veto is warranted for the protection of new managers, where was Sandy in 2004 when John was a new manager? Was that trade less lopsided than this one?
• Was the proposed trade really taking advantage of a new manager?
• Is Robbie in need of protection?

The merits of the trade are an interesting question. After the dumping of Wilford by the Claymores, Wu couched the trade as follows:

Jackson for Houshmandzadeh
Benson/Jones for Maroney

Sandy Taylor on Thursday, defending a veto of a trade offered to his cousin by "the lupine Wu"

Making use of both Benson and Jones requires two starting spots, whereas Maroney occupies only one. However, trading Benson and Jones together does bring injury insurance.

How lopsided is Jackson for Housh? Housh is the secondary wide receiver in a fantastic offense, but he's been out, has yet to show how well he will perform coming off his injury, and plays against the Ravens and Steelers defense four times a year. Jackson is the primary wide receiver of a team whose offense carried it to the Superbowl, a team that plays six games against the defenses of the Cardinals, 49ers, and Rams. After week 2, Jackson is tenth in the fantasy production of all wide receivers. But Seattle scores many touchdowns on the ground, and they just acquired Deion Branch who could very likely end up the number one target later in the year, reducing Jackson's value. Will Housh be so much better coming off injury that the he contributes to the trade warranting a veto? The veto question aside, history supports Sandy's valuation of these wide receivers, defenses in divisions notwithstanding. Jackson scored 39 fantasy points in 2005; Houshmanzadeh scored 88.

Finally, how much protection does Robbie really need? He leads all four Taylors, including commissioner Sandy, in points and is tied at the top of the league for roster moves, indicating that he's putting more time into fantasy research than many.

But Sandy firmly stood his ground on Thursday, sticking by his stance as a protector:

"Rob is indeed as inexperienced as a faun in the woods and should not be savaged by the lupine Wu. ... 'Not gonna do it.'"